Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Just Need to Share Something (Post #2)

Hi everyone!  I don't normally make a second post in one day, but something is bothering me.  I will not make a post tomorrow in order to let you all see the two posts that I have made today.  A friend of mine on Facebook (never met her face to face) sent me a private message telling me that she is feeling depressed and that she is going to close her Facebook account for a while.

I have absolutely no problem with someone taking a break from any social network;  what is bothering me is that I was sent a private message with no way to console her.  

Why is is that when someone is depressed they pull away from people?  For those of you who are regular visitors to my blog, you know that I struggle with depression, so it isn't like I don't understand, but what I am trying to say is why is it that people, when depressed, push people away and turn away from people, when they may need some support and love?

28 comments:

  1. Bonjour,
    je n'ai pas vraiment de réponse à vos questions... Peut-être que tout simplement on aime partager et rire lorsqu'on a des joies et dans la peine on a tendance à se replier sur soi-même...
    J'espère que tout va bien pour vous.
    Je vous embrasse affectueusement.

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    1. Bonjour Martine! Merci beaucoup et je vous embrasse aussi!

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  2. I am not sure. I guess when depressed the feel safe alone. I think they like self pitying.

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Rajesh.

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  3. I feel so badly for this woman, and am glad that you have always been able to share your thoughts with us. I think when people get depressed enough, they believe that no one can say anything to help them and they are tired of hearing platitudes. They also sometimes believe that no one can understand their pain, because it is so personal for each person. And sadly, a lot of people do not understand. I don't know if this is true with your friend, but I hope she has some people who love her and can help her feel better.

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    1. Hi Ginny,

      Thanks so much for your comment, I really appreciate it.

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  4. If she sent you a private message you can respond! Just hit 'reply'. Even when someone closes their account they will continue to get the email response for a month.

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    1. Hi Linda, I am not able to reply. Facebook says that I cannot reply to the message due to the fact that the member has closed their account.

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  5. You can always pray for her, Linda; and you can ask your friends on Facebook and your blog to do the same. We don't need to know her name; the Lord knows. Bless you for caring.

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  6. i hope your friend recovers soon and comes back online. i guess sometimes when we feel really bad, it feels like nobody can really understand and console us. i think i know that feeling, but i do try to fight it whenever it surfaces...

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  7. maybe because they feel like nobody understands their problem or depression? :o

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  8. What a pity you cannot reply to your friend...do you think that when things seem unbearable some people with depression just turn in on themselves to try to control what goes on in their world?

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  9. Hi Linda, First I want to thank you for visiting my blog and for your kind comment. As for your question, it has really got me thinking . . . I know that this is true. When I am feeling depressed it is the first thing that I do, too . . . I've just never really given it much thought. Thank you . . . I believe that when you can recognize something like this in yourself, you have the first tool you need to work on correcting it. Now that I am retired it is easier to shut out the world, and everyone is so busy with their own lives that they don't even notice, or they would help. I am fortunate and have a loving husband and we are the best of friends, but if I didn't and lived alone, I can see where this could become a very dangerous escape.
    I am going to click your follow button and I hope that you will return for another visit and decide to follow me back.
    I have met some wonderful people through blogging.
    Have a lovely weekend and keep smiling :)
    Your new blogging sister, Connie :)

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  10. It's called isolating. Injured animals hole-up and so do humans when we feel vulnerable and wounded. Sadly, it's the very worst thing we can do--I found that out the hard way. We will recover from depression much sooner if we reach out to others and not push them away.

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  11. I've noticed this more than once. Pain like this can cause a destructive cycle. Having dealt with it in my family and my own life I've seen this happen many times. It's taken a lot of faith and discipline to resist this cycle when the struggle comes. People like yourself do help in these situations.

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  12. Usually outsiders don't understand you, Linda, and the majority of people don't like negative people. Often when you cry for help..., nobody listens... Terrible, very terrible...
    Lie(f)s.

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  13. Linda, I have struggled with depression for much of my life. I sometimes want to pull away from others, too. It seems like there's a transparent barrier between me and other people, and I feel like I can't connect with others. I know it's not healthy, but when I'm very depressed, that doesn't seem to make a difference.

    You can pray for your friend and send her loving and compassionate thoughts. You have such a kind heart.

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  14. Depression can be so difficult! This poor woman feels very much alone and like some people, prefers being alone rather than trying to engage in conversation or a relationship with others. It is easy to forget that what is most personal is also most universal. Most people feel depressed at one time or another. It is a common ailment and because we share in that ailment it can be very helpful to engage others to try to find some relief. And there are different reasons for depression. Some folks have good reason to be depressed - loss of spouse, or illness, or some other calamity. Others feel depressed but cannot pinpoint a reason.

    What we can do is "be there" for one another. And I see that you are trying to do this for your friend.

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  15. Linda, I completelly agree with you.
    Thank for your comment on my blog.
    Love you.

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  16. I feel bad for you blogger friend....depression will pull you down a dark slipper slope. The emotional pain can be pure agony. The wrong thing to do is to with draw but it is a deceptive symptom of depression to drain your energy and make you want to pull the covers over your head till it all goes away. Hopefully she will be able to get help.

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  17. Hi Linda, thank you for visiting my blog. I also don't understand why they do that. or maybe they just want to be alone? just saying. :)

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  18. Hi Linda, I'm sorry your friend isn't feeling well. It is sweet of you to care about her and you ask a great question, why do some people pull away when depressed. Hopefully she'll get in touch with you when she feels better.

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  19. It is so hard to understand. My eldest son suffered from bi-polar. Although great progress is appearing in recent years in the mental health field etc. a doctor friend told me some time ago that that area of medical knowledge was decades behine other areas.

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  20. That's so sad that your friend has withdrawn from social/facebook contact because of depression. Maybe people withdraw when depressed because they fear rejection if they shared their dark thoughts? I don't know, but I have seen people with depression choose to withdraw rather than allow friends to contact them.
    I hope your friend feels better soon.

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  21. Hello Linda, it is wonderful to get a visit and to have you as a follower, but you may want to try again. Your name didn't come up on my followers list, that happens sometimes. I am looking very forward to getting to know you better :) Here's wishing you a happy and joy-filled weekend.
    Your blogging sister, Connie :)

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  22. Yo creo firmemente que lo unico que cura de verdad la depresión es el contacto directo, la cercanía física. Las redes sociales, como Facebook no son otra cosa que espejos en los que seres aislados y solitarios se miran el ombligo para luego decir: ¡Qué hermoso ombligo tengo!
    Tu amiga necesita contacto humano. No virtual contacto. Pienso yo.
    Un abrazo,

    I firmly believe that the only thing that really cure depression is direct contact, physical proximity. Social networks such as Facebook are nothing but mirrors that isolated and lonely beings look at the navel and then say: What a beautiful navel I have!
    Your friend needs human contact. No virtual contact. I think I do.
    A hug,

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  23. Thank you all so much for your comments, I really appreciate it!

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  24. I don't know why it's like that, but it is. Maybe we don't feel worthy of anyone's attention when we're down, or we don't want to "bother" anyone, when we feel so much less than our best. I will say, though, that I have learned to reach out.

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