Thursday, April 25, 2013

Life is too Short

Hi everyone!  This is going to be quite a long post, so I really hope you will all bear with me, as I am not used to making such long posts, but I really felt the need to this time.  The photo I shared in my last post was a photo with a family of young deer.  I realize now that, even though enlarged, it would have been difficult to tell what they were, so I apologize for not mentioning what kind of animals they were.  :)  They were somewhat spooked because of the rain that Montreal was about to get.

I went to a restaurant this morning for breakfast.  I don't do this often but I try to a couple of times a month.  Anyway, I have had the wonderful opportunity to get to know two really nice waitresses at this restaurant.  They are very kind and professional and I enjoy talking to them when they aren't too busy.  Today one of the waitresses was bringing me a second cup of coffee which they do at no charge to customers who want one and who have a meal there.  The waitress who served me today accidentally dropped the coffee cup and saucer, filled with coffee and the coffee spilled all over the table and on my lap.  She was so apologetic...however, I said to her, "Please don't worry, it was an accident;  accidents happen!"  Although I felt the heat from the coffee on my lap it didn't burn me.  I was wearing jeans and the jeans, I suppose, protected my legs from any possible burn.  The waitress apologized profusely several times.  I told her please not to be concerned about it, as this was an accident, and although I felt the heat of the coffee I was not injured.  I mentioned to her that if I were to be upset about this, then how would I be in a more dire situation?  Seriously, life is too short to get upset over something like this (in my view).  I just did a load of laundry when I got home, no harm done!

I know that some people struggle with various mental illnesses such as OCD and depression.  I personally struggle with depression.  I am a highly sensitive person (HSP), which is not a mental illness but rather a personality trait.  There are good things and bad things in being a HSP.  The good is that HSPs are able to be empathetic and compassionate to others.  The bad is what I am dealing with at this time is that I tend to take things way too personally.  An example would be if someone...usually someone I know on a personal level and am closer to, sends me an e-mail.  Sometimes I perceive it as being cold if the e-mail is short and more to the point that I might be used to.  The person is not meaning to, or being cold at all, they are perhaps short on time due to being on a work break and/or sending the e-mail by way of a cell phone as opposed to a computer (like I always and only use). One would think that I would appreciate the fact that the person took the time to send me the e-mail at all, especially since they were doing it on a break.  (which I truly do).  I guess I am so used to sending an e-mail when I have more time and not on a work break (and never on a cell phone, as I don't have one), that I really didn't think of the manner in which they sent me the e-mail...I just think that it seems cold at that moment.  I am very hard on myself and things like this can really throw me into a depressed state, because I am hitting myself over how I reacted rather than just trying to learn from the situation.   When I get to being so sensitive that I feel that others are being cold toward me....when they really are not, I just want to slap myself.  Anyway, thank you all for bearing with me and for "listening."  I could really use your prayers and thoughts on my behalf with this, as it is a very difficult thing for me to work on;  and believe me, I am really trying to!  Perhaps I am falling back into a depressed state so anything I feel will be much more intense than when I am not in this state.  I have called and made an appointment with a social worker, because I feel that I need to talk about this in depth.  Sometimes it is good to not deal with things as difficult as this alone, and perhaps being able to talk about it and hear what the social worker has to say may help.  It certainly can't hurt.  Social workers in my area are well equipped in dealing with mental health issues, such as depression, and they, unlike psychologists, are free of charge to meet with using a medicare card.  Interesting, too, that just a week ago I made a post in reference to a depressed friend, and wondered why it is that depressed people go into hiding as opposed to coming out and talking about their depression.  So I am trying to seek help rather than hide, by talking about it here and by making an appointment with a social worker.  In closing on this topic, I don't have OCD...but I can relate to those who do, and here is how.  Whereas someone who has OCD often cannot control their tendency to double, triple and quadruple...check things, and those who have OCD will know what I am talking about, when I feel sensitive about something I can't just "shut it off."  I really wish I could!  

I found the following quotation on Dr. Wayne W. Dyer's page on Facebook...Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

This quotation really touches my heart...and I really try to remember it in my day to day life.  I remembered it today when the coffee spilling incident happened.  Had I reacted in a negative manner, I would have felt badly and rightly so, as it would have made the waitress feel worse than she already did...and this would have spoken volumes as to what kind of a person I am and strive to be.  None of us is perfect, but if we really try to be kind to others and considerate of their feelings it really helps us.  I feel much happier and healthier when I am able to make someone feel good about themselves, as somehow it makes me feel good about myself as well.  

The video I have chosen for this post is sweet and light...and short.  It is of a pet crow taking a bath.  I just love birds and enjoyed seeing this crow take a bath.  Hope you all do as well.  

The photo I am sharing today is one that I took last Friday, April 19th. You just need to click on the image to see a larger view.

I know that many of my fellow bloggers have talked about getting spam in the way of comments on their blog posts.  I have noticed that I am getting spam as well;  however, the spam I have been getting has been on old a year ago.  I have been deleting them and not allowing them to appear.  One of my posts in particular has been getting several spam entries in the comments.  I managed to disallow any further comments on that post.  I am there any way to disallow comments on older posts in one easy task, or does one have to do it with each and every single post?  Thank you so much!

Thank you all so much for visiting me here!  I really enjoy and appreciate reading your kind thoughts, which you are always welcome to share by clicking on the 'comments' link at the end of my post.


  1. Linda, I'll be happy to pray for you. I enjoyed the bathing crow! I don't know if you still allow anonymous comments, but nearly all my spam stopped when I did away with that option. Bless you!

  2. As my husband will tell you, I have been really over sensitive for most of my life. And spent lots of wasted time crying over things I thought were slights. But you hit the nail on the head when you say life is too short. I would think that someone hated me when in fact they were not even thinking about me. I have gotten a lot less sensitive as I get older, and maybe you will too. Just for my own self, I realized that there were better things for people to do than always think about ME, and now I just do the best I can and if people like me or not, whatever. One thing is that no one likes everyone and it is a fact of life. If someone does not like me, I will not give them the power to make me miserable, I just need to get on with life. No one likes everyone, and that is O.K. Also e-mail is an awful way to communicate for sensitive people, you cannot hear inflection or feeling, so misinterpret. PLEASE don't take any of this personal, I am only telling you about MY own struggles with this, and you are not me, I am not suggesting that any of this is you.

  3. You must be proud of yourself for being so open, delicate and brave. The way you treated the waitress deserves all my respect.
    You've taken the first step to deal with something that bothers you, You're on the right way. ;-)

  4. Hello Linda, I've had friends and family suffering depression and O.C.D. I don't know much about sensitivity, but I'm sure your talking about it will help. Good luck in controlling it.

    As far as older posts go here's what to do.
    1 - Go to your dashboard and open 'Settings'
    2 - Go to 'Posts and Comments'
    3 - Where it says 'Comment Moderation' ? tick 'Sometimes' then put a number in the box.

    I tend to find that comments over a month old will be spam, my regular readers will usually comment within a couple of weeks. If you enable comment moderation for posts older than say a month then the spam will stop on those posts.

  5. i do love the way you responded to the waitress. we're all humans, we all make mistakes, we all deserve respect and forgiveness and dignity and compassion. your response was beautiful :D and i'm sorry to hear about your struggles. i don't completely understand, but i do hope you're able to find some help and comfort in order to change anything that you're hoping to change. i guess it might take time, but i do believe in you =)

  6. That's quite a post, Linda. Lots of food for thought. I like the way you process things - think them through and learn through the process.

    It is good to be able to talk to a trusted counselor who has your best interests at heart. As you know such a person can help you better understand and deal with those situations that bother you.

    Your story about the coffee shows you have a great sensitivity to the feelings of others. I'm glad you weren't burned, though. It reminded me of the time a few years ago we were visiting our son and his family in Houston. Their oldest daughter worked in a restaurant/bar so we went there for dinner. She was very nervous having to serve her family, especially her grandparents. In fact, she was so nervous, she spilled a whole glass of beer over me!

    She was mortified, but we all laughed, and now she can laugh about it too. Like you said, the worst of it was having to wash a few clothes!

    I can't imagine having a pet crow! That would drive me nuts or drive me to write a book. I'd probably call it "The Raven." ;)

    Re your spam: I have finally concluded the only thing to do is go into settings and then the comments section. Unclick "Anyone can comment" and click the little circle that says something like "User ID." That might disallow a few people, but bloggers will have no problem and your spam will disappear.

    Hope your day goes wonderfully well!

  7. You can enable comment moderation "on posts older than __ days". You just fill in the number you want. Also, disabling anonymous comments really reduces the spam. if you don't know hoe to do these things, email me and I'll help.

    The crow is adorable!

    Good for you, making the appointment with the social worker, and for not raking the waitress over the coals. I'm sure she felt badly enough as it was. I'm glad you weren't burned, though! And, no slapping my blog friend. Okay?

  8. You're so right ...La vie est vraiment trop courte pour s'appesantir sur des choses pas vraiment essantielles ...

  9. Hi Linda, It was nice hearing from you on my blog. I always appreciate comments, as I am sure you do to.

    I think it is very brave of you to speak out about your depression and sensitivity. I think it shows great growth that you question your own feelings and especially those of others.

  10. Linda, you provided a fine example of how to treat others in your story of the encounter with the waitress. We should all be as respectful and kind as you were!

    I feel for you in your struggles with worries and depression. I understand. I'm glad you'll be talking with a social worker. Sometimes just talking something out with a professional can be really helpful. And I will certainly pray for you, too!

    I loved the bathing crow! I wish I could bathe that quickly! :-)

  11. I read your log, Linda, but it is to difficult to answer...
    About the comments, I close them 1 month later.

  12. Dear Linda - thank you so much for stopping by to visit me. I took a few minutes to enjoy your lovely blog. Being an animal lover myself I know I will be stopping back often to visit.
    I certainly sympathize with struggling with depression. Love the quote you posted by Maya Angelou. There are so many wonderful words to be found that help us when we need understanding and compassion. Thank you for sharing the crow taking a bath. Simply amazing. Take care.

  13. Helen Devries5:44 PM

    That's a great service. being able to talk with a social worker without problems of referrals or payment and I'm sure that it will be helpful especially as it is clear from what you said that you have thought through what troubles you and why.
    You're a great person Linda...and you're right, life is to short to waste on worry when there is so much to your bathing crow!

  14. Bless your heart...we are all human...if we only knew what others were thinking and feeling we would probably see that we are all very much the same. It is not easy dealing with our inner beings....I have had struggles similar to yours....I take one day at a time and try not to dwell on thoughts that are hurtful and the insecurity that comes with them. I will pray.

  15. Thank you all so much for your kind comments on this especially long post! I very much appreciate it.

  16. Hi Linda, thank you for sharing with us so openly. Don't worry too much, we are all human nobody is perfect. Everybody got their own weakness and flaws.

    Life is like a coin, pleasure and pain are the two sides.
    Only one side is visible at time.
    But remember other side also waiting for it's turn.

    Sorrow is gonna say goodbye
    Opens up you see the happy sunshine
    Keep going on with your dream
    Chasing tomorrow sunrise
    The spirit can never die
    Sun will shine my friend
    God blessed you. with lots of love and hugs to you.

  17. It is indeed Linda I quite agree. That Video was very good made me laugh :)


Please do not be shy! I appreciate your kind comments, they are sweet treasures and really make my day! Spammers, do not waste your time, I delete your comments and they do not even show on my blog. Comment moderation is enabled. I do hope that Blogger's changes in the way of proving that you are not a robot do not deter you from commenting! Thank you so much! If you have Google+ and are only allowing Google+ users to comment on your blog, I do not have, nor do I want it. And if you use DISQUS for accepting comments on your blog I don't have that, either, nor do I want it. Thanks!