Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Calm After the Storm

Hello everyone!  The video I am sharing in this post is only one minute in length...and quite comical.  It is from a British television ad;  hope you all enjoy it!  :)

I decided to entitle this post 'The Calm After the Storm'...actually, there are two reasons!  One is that we got hit here in Montreal with a snowstorm yesterday, and I am sharing a photo of that, however, a more significant reason for the title of my post is referring to the 'storms' in our lives...and the calm thereafter.

All of us have experienced difficulties in our lives and we know that during these difficulties, it is not easy to see a light at the end of the tunnel at times.  Sometimes we feel overwhelmed and depressed, and at those times we feel that we will never see happiness again.  I can't help but think of something that I experienced a couple of years ago, and something that still haunts me to this day.  See, I had a Facebook friend. This gentleman was someone whom I had never met face to face, and he spoke four languages, if I remember accurately...two of the languages he spoke were French and English, like myself.  We communicated often via our posts on Facebook and through private messages and e-mails, and he was just 5 months older than myself and lived in Belgium. He worked as a personal life coach, so he was very caring and kind, and did his best to help others as best he could, in whatever way he could.  His page on Facebook was upbeat, positive and filled with encouraging messages and photos, quotes, etc.  At one point I had computer issues and was not online for about 3 weeks.  It was during this time that he decided that life was no longer worth living...and took his own life.  From what I heard, he was found hanging in his apartment.  

I was shocked and hurt at this news.  The way I found out was...when I was able to get back online and onto Facebook, a lady who was a mutual friend of mine and his sent me a private message telling me that he had died...and to check his page.  One of his friends had posted the horrific news that he was found in his apartment, and that he had hanged himself. At first I was numbed, in shock, having trouble believing it, but alas, it was the truth.  He was gone.  :(  I kept thinking to myself "What if I had been around and online?  Would he have confided in me and told me of his deep sadness?"  "Would I have been able to do anything to bring him out of his depth of despair?"  Well, these questions...and including, I might add, blaming myself, went on for quite a while until I realized...there is nothing I could have done!  The people who were able to continue communicating with him...he never told them, apparently, about his deep sadness and his feelings of wanting to end his own life.  I shed tears for at least a few months after this, it took me quite a while to come to terms with it.  To be honest, I still haven't;  however, I am now able to share it without falling to pieces.

Sorry for the long post but this is something that I really needed to share!  So for all of you out there...if you are feeling sad, depressed, in the depth of despair, please talk to someone about your feelings, and go to see a doctor.  

To end this post I am sharing a photo I took just a few hours ago...it is sunny and lovely today, but in the photo I took and am sharing here you cannot tell!  The snowbank that you see in this photo is (was) actually a sidewalk, believe it or not, and this is pretty much how a good majority of the sidewalks in Montreal look at this time.  It will take them a long time to clean this up!  And this is on a main street yet!  You just need to click on the image to see a larger view.

Thank you all so much for visiting me here!  I really appreciate and enjoy reading your kind thoughts, which you are always welcome to share by clicking on the 'comments' link at the end of my post.

28 comments:

  1. People who commit suicide never realize just how many people care about them, or most probably wouldn't do it. Sorry you were hurt by his action.

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    1. Hi Gorges, I think you're right. If they are so deeply into their hurt, that is all they see; sadly.

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  2. Beautiful snow, delicious photo.

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  3. Suicide is so final; I am sorry. A blogger with a small following left a cryptic post and vanished; we all wonder.

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    1. Hi Joanne, thanks for your comment. Wow, doesn't sound good.

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  4. Je suis sincèrement désolée et triste de ce qui est arrivé à cette personne qui était devenu proche pour vous de par ces échanges de mails... la véritable tristesse est au fond de nous et personne ne peut la déceler même pas soi-même. Autrement dès qu'un soupçon se devine, on passe malheureusement à l'acte sans que ni vous, ni quoi que ce soit puisse faire changer la donne.

    Je suis heureuse toutefois qu'aujourd'hui vous puissiez en parler. Votre coeur et votre conscience se soulagent et se libèrent d'un poids qui ne vous incombe pas.

    Merci pour votre gentil commentaire.
    Une belle photo de neige termine votre billet mais je vous envoie la douceur de notre printemps pour la faire fondre !
    Gros bisous

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    1. Martine, merci beaucoup pour votre reponse de sagesse, grous bisous!

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  5. Linda, I'm sorry about your friend. That's so sad. You are right--people who are depressed or in despair should reach out to others and get help.

    That's a lot of snow! And today is the first day of spring--guess it doesn't feel like spring in Montreal!

    I loved the video. Cats are special to me, and they are so funny.

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    1. Hi Tina, thanks so much for your comment. So glad you enjoyed the video; I chose it to lighten things up a bit, I just felt a sense of peace in being able to share this.

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  6. This is very good special effects on the cat ad. What a very sad story. I believe that most of us carry around such burdens that others know nothing about, so it is good to be kind to everyone. No what ifs to me here, God took you out of the picture for a short time to spare you further agony. Could be that he would have opened up to you and then still done this and you could have felt even worse, I think you were spared any further sadness.

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    1. Hi Ginny, thanks so much for looking at the video! You know, your words have touched my heart here...I honestly hadn't thought about that aspect of it, that God took me out of the picture for a short time to spare me further agony, so seeing it in this light gives me a great deal of comfort. Thank you!

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    2. agree with Ginny!

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  7. c'est un émouvant témoignage.
    Merci pour la belle vidéo, elle est drôle.
    bises
    ronrons d'Opale et SOnye
    Laurence

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    1. Bonjour, merci beaucoup!

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  8. Bonjour Linda,
    Je te remercie beaucoup d'être passée sur mon blog.
    Tu as vécu en effet une expérience profondément douloureuse. Malgré les apparences, nous avons tous un jardin secret, et ton ami avait le sien qu'il ne pouvait pas partager pour une raison mystérieuse. Mais il a emporté dans l'au-delà, toutes les bonnes intentions et belles paroles que tu lui a données. C'était son destin...

    Très amicalement

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    1. Merci beaucoup votre commentaire, c'est vraiment apprecie!

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  9. I have lost several Facebook friends and I still mourn them. One was a young writer waiting for a heart transplant. He last blogged the night before his long-awaited surgery but didn't survive it. It was terribly sad. The other was also a writer who died of heart problems. We can become really attached to our fellow bloggers over time and it hurts to lose them, no matter what the circumstances.

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    1. So true, Ms. Sparrow. Thank you for sharing.

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  10. My friend, I feel so sorry for you at this news, but glad that you are beginning to learn to live with this, as you say - you will never forget.

    I guess it was meant to be for some reason, the mind is a complicated part of the body and real hard to work out at times.

    Thanks for sharing - and I guess we have to be thankful that we can still communicate.

    I hope by posting this it has helped you feel a little easier and settled in mind and body too.

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    1. Hello good friend, thank you! Yes, I feel a sense of peace in having had the opportunity to share this.

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  11. If you could have helped you would.

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    1. You're right, Helen. Thanks.

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  12. Your log makes me silent, Linda, very silent...
    But even if you cry for help..., almost nobody wants to listen...
    Lie(f)s.

    @The stone was 'spring' but you found a nice translation !

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    1. Hello Lies, thank you so much for sharing, my friend.

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  13. Dear Linda,
    People who commit suicide are desperate to get away from the pain in their lives.The people who grieve in their absence seldom cross the mind of the victim. It's not that they don't care about their loved ones, but the burden of living has become too painful to bear. It is difficult to explain unless you personally have been perched on the edge of that dreadful abyss.
    Our local news is threatening our area with three days of snow. I'm SO ready for some color in the landscape!
    Thumbs up on the kitties!!!
    Much love,
    Kim

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    1. Hi Kim, thank you so much for your insight. So glad you enjoyed the kitties! :)

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  14. The video is really funny. I don't know how you find those good ones but am glad you share them with us. Can you tell I am behind in reading blogs again?
    About that snow and cold weather - - - we in the South are thinking you in the north have sent some of it this way cuz it is COLD this week with a few flurries!
    So, so very sorry about your internet friend. It is sad to think a person can't see any reason to live.

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