I decided to entitle this post 'The Calm After the Storm'...actually, there are two reasons! One is that we got hit here in Montreal with a snowstorm yesterday, and I am sharing a photo of that, however, a more significant reason for the title of my post is referring to the 'storms' in our lives...and the calm thereafter.
All of us have experienced difficulties in our lives and we know that during these difficulties, it is not easy to see a light at the end of the tunnel at times. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed and depressed, and at those times we feel that we will never see happiness again. I can't help but think of something that I experienced a couple of years ago, and something that still haunts me to this day. See, I had a Facebook friend. This gentleman was someone whom I had never met face to face, and he spoke four languages, if I remember accurately...two of the languages he spoke were French and English, like myself. We communicated often via our posts on Facebook and through private messages and e-mails, and he was just 5 months older than myself and lived in Belgium. He worked as a personal life coach, so he was very caring and kind, and did his best to help others as best he could, in whatever way he could. His page on Facebook was upbeat, positive and filled with encouraging messages and photos, quotes, etc. At one point I had computer issues and was not online for about 3 weeks. It was during this time that he decided that life was no longer worth living...and took his own life. From what I heard, he was found hanging in his apartment.
I was shocked and hurt at this news. The way I found out was...when I was able to get back online and onto Facebook, a lady who was a mutual friend of mine and his sent me a private message telling me that he had died...and to check his page. One of his friends had posted the horrific news that he was found in his apartment, and that he had hanged himself. At first I was numbed, in shock, having trouble believing it, but alas, it was the truth. He was gone. :( I kept thinking to myself "What if I had been around and online? Would he have confided in me and told me of his deep sadness?" "Would I have been able to do anything to bring him out of his depth of despair?" Well, these questions...and including, I might add, blaming myself, went on for quite a while until I realized...there is nothing I could have done! The people who were able to continue communicating with him...he never told them, apparently, about his deep sadness and his feelings of wanting to end his own life. I shed tears for at least a few months after this, it took me quite a while to come to terms with it. To be honest, I still haven't; however, I am now able to share it without falling to pieces.
Sorry for the long post but this is something that I really needed to share! So for all of you out there...if you are feeling sad, depressed, in the depth of despair, please talk to someone about your feelings, and go to see a doctor.
To end this post I am sharing a photo I took just a few hours ago...it is sunny and lovely today, but in the photo I took and am sharing here you cannot tell! The snowbank that you see in this photo is (was) actually a sidewalk, believe it or not, and this is pretty much how a good majority of the sidewalks in Montreal look at this time. It will take them a long time to clean this up! And this is on a main street yet! You just need to click on the image to see a larger view.